Thoughts on "Losing" the Kairos Prize

(c) Staci Stallings, 2007

I used to think the point of a disappointing outcome was so that I could learn to DO better next time. I'm beginning to think it has nothing to do with learning to DO better. It has to do with learning to BE better-being a better person, a more gracious person, a more loving person, a fuller person who knows what it is to be disappointed so I can appreciate the joy more when it comes. But even as I appreciate it, that I can be truly compassionate with those who have had their dreams put on hold once again as I have now.

I could well spend my time now trying to learn to DO better-to write a better script, to write a better pitch better, to write a better synopsis or a better logline. I think instead I will spend my time learning to BE better. To be a more loving person in everything I do, to show God's love more intensely and more fully to everyone I meet, to understand that He has a plan, and even though I do not see it or understand it, that still I can trust its work in my life and in the lives of those around me.

This then, is not defeat. It is ultimate victory for I have learned a new lesson in a new way and begun a new day as a new person in Christ. He has a plan, and I'm so very grateful for that-not just for the plan but for the deeper knowledge that when the waves overtake me, that He will be there to reach down and pluck me out. And then, with that loving smile of His to look me in the eyes and give me a lesson to help me BE better next time.

It is a lesson I will cherish forever.

~*~*~
Yes, I didn't win the contest, but I want to thank you all so much for your prayers and good thoughts! They mean the world to me. Please pray for those still in the contest--for the finalists and for the winners. May God's light shine through their work into our darkened world!