My Timing is Perfect

(c) Staci Stallings, 2003

"Make me know Thy ways, O Lord; Teach me Thy paths."
--Psalm 25:4

There are days when I get really frustrated with man's place in religion. It probably has to do with how and where I was brought up. In a little town with only one church and one faith practiced, I didn't often see the edge of the power of change that the hierarchy of a religious community can wield. Church was the same; believers were the same; God was the same no matter where I went. That's probably why all the changes the Church is making now upset me so much. Growing up, my religion was as solid as my faith. Now, however, I realize that the ideal I had always believed in back then simply does not exist.

No, in this world people want excitement and challenge. One way to stir excitement is by making changes. Make a change, and suddenly everyone is compelled to take a stand on the issue-for and against. The hierarchy then gains power by holding fast to the change they have decreed. Eventually the multitudes surrender to the change, which confirms who has the power. Until, of course, someone new comes along and needs to make a change to reassert power, and the whole process repeats itself.

In the last few years, my religion has gone through many changes. We've been told that instead of kneeling at one part of the service, we are now to stand (then we went back to kneeling). We've been told that instead of only receiving Communion on the tongue it is now acceptable even encouraged to receive by hand. We've been told that children should no longer be Confirmed at 15 when they are able to make their own choice, it is now better to have them make their Confirmations as 8-year-olds because Confirmation cannot be "learned or earned."

Of course my mind which had to study for a year to be able to pass the test on the religious teachings of the church in order to "earn" Confirmation wonders how we have suddenly gone so far in the other direction. This concern was intensified when my eight-year-old daughter arrived at this juncture of her life. I had hoped and prayed, literally, that the rules would be changed back-as some had said they might be. However, during our first meeting for second grade parents, we found out it was not to be. The second graders would be Confirmed as per the decree of the hierarchy.

For weeks I vacillated between fury and bewilderment. I didn't understand why the religion I had grown up with looked so different than the one I was passing on to my child. I argued with people, asking why this change was made, and what my options were in going forward. I couldn't figure out how I could ever be at peace with myself if I took the central decision of my life away from my child. But I also couldn't figure out how I would be at peace if it was God's will and I stood in the way of that.

Then one night after a meeting, my heart hurt so badly that I was near tears. I held my daughter's hand as she drifted off to sleep and looking at her, I finally begged God, "Please, I don't understand this. I know You know that I want what's best for her, and I know what's best for Her is Your will. Please help me to know what that is, and help me to be at peace with whatever happens."

Instantly a voice in my head said very patiently, "My timing is perfect for each child. She is Mine, give her to Me, and whatever happens will be what I had envisioned for her." With tears rolling down my face, I did just that. I let go of the control I had been gripping so tightly. For the first time, I had true peace about not just Confirmation but about her whole life.

She's God's child, and God will guide her life the way it is supposed to go. I'm God's child too, and God's timing, if I let it be, will always be perfect for me just as it will be for all of us-no matter what changes men make in the rules.

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Stay tuned tomorrow for Tricia Goyer!