Love and Dust

© Staci Stallings

I’ve been a Catholic all my life, so at present I’ve personally heard the Ash Wednesday admonishment 37 times. As the ashes are placed on your forehead, you are told, “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

About three weeks ago, I was writing a book, and the character remembered what her grandmother used to tell her: “Remember you are love and to love you shall return.”

When I went to Ash Wednesday Mass, I thought about these two sayings and wondered how can one be true if the other is also? Did I have to disregard the first’s warning in order to embrace the second's promise? All day long I thought about it, and finally it dawned on me what God was telling me through these two sayings.

Too many of us on this earth believe that what we do is important. We strive to “make a difference” in our world. We pursue educations and then jobs so that what we do will matter. Unfortunately, we’re missing the point.

It is not what we do that matters. It’s what He already did. The day that Christ carried my sins up Calvary’s mountain, allowed Himself to be nailed to a tree, bled, suffered and died for me—that’s what matters, and in truth, that’s all that matters. Whether I get my living room cleaned or not is really inconsequential in comparison.

“Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

Remember that those things you are doing today to increase yourself are dust. As the writer of Ecclesiastes says, they are smoke.

However, and here is where life gets interesting, you do not have to be dust. You do not have to resign yourself to smoke. In Christ, through Christ, you can have love. You can be love if you will retrain your focus from yourself to Him. Do you let Him order your day, or do you insist on planning your own? Do you let Him control you, or do you seek to control Him—putting Him off until prayer time for example? Do you turn your God walkie-talkie on and listen for His messages to you, or do you do like a friend of mine who said, “I thought we just lived. I didn’t know there were lessons!”

There are ultimately two things in this life: Love and Fear. Fear is an illusion, a lie of Satan. Love is real. Love is all that is real. Everything else is dust.

When the great entrepreneur J.D. Rockefeller died, a reporter asked his accountant, “How much did J.D. leave behind?” To which the accountant replied, “All of it.” He left the dust of this world behind and took only the love he had for God and for others to his eternity.

As my sister said, “All we get to keep is the love we have shared with others, with God, and with ourselves.”

So, I wonder how often I am dust and how often I am love. Reality is, I can be either one.

The priest on Ash Wednesday pointed this out very nicely. He said (I paraphrase), “Which is it? The Bible says not to hide your light under a bush, but then it says, ‘When you do a good deed, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.’ It says, ‘Feed my sheep,’ but it also says, ‘What you do in secret, your Father sees.’ So which is it?”

I propose to you this points out the dust or love question nicely for the reality is, it is BOTH and it is NEITHER. Both when why you are doing it is for love. Neither if you are doing it for yourself. Pride is the first deadly sin for a reason. Pride in self and your own accomplishments will get you a handful of dust in a hurry.

When you are working from love and really letting Christ work through you in love, it matters not if your actions are public or private—they are blessed because God blesses what is Holy. If He did it, it’s Holy. If you did it (even for Him), it is not. God does not bless our effort if our effort is motivated by our own self-interest (and that might even mean if we’re trying to get into Heaven because of it).

For example, let’s say that you decide: In order to get to Heaven, I have to read my Bible every night and visit the sick once a week. So you read your Bible every night and you visit the sick once a week. Your goal in both exercises is your own benefit—you’re doing them to get to Heaven (or if you’re a fear-based Christian to save yourself from Hell). The problem is this is smoke and will count for naught on the other side.

Now, let’s say instead that a stranger has dropped his books all over the sidewalk. You are in a hurry to get to work, but you stop and help him because he needs help. I submit to you, that this action will survive the grave and accompany you to Heaven. You have extended love, and love lasts. Yes, it was a small thing, took no more than two minutes, but I believe it will outweigh all those other things you did in order to gain something for yourself.

Look for those moments to give love to someone else. Look for those moments when listening is all that is required. Look for those moments when Christ nudges you to help, to listen, to answer, to hear, to run, to walk, to be. Let God who ordered the whole universe order your day as well. Let love be your guiding light and realize that everything else is dust.

The more you remember you are love and to love you shall return, the more you will be living with Christ as your focus and with God in your heart. Those are the things that matter. Get that right, and everything else will follow.

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The Four Parts of a Blessing

© Staci Stallings

One of the stories in the Bible that always fascinated me was the story of the small boy who had five loaves and two fish. Can you imagine being that kid? His mother, I’m sure, packed his lunch for him that morning. “Now, be careful with this. Don’t smash that bread, and no trading with anybody!” So, off he goes to see this guy they call Jesus.

Jesus talks, and then it’s time to eat. Think about this, there were 5,000 men there—which may mean there were many more than that when you count the women and the children—AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO BRING ANYTHING TO EAT EXCEPT THIS ONE KID! Okay, this is not Kansas City, Missouri. There isn’t a McDonald’s five blocks down from the convention center where Jesus is speaking. They are out in the middle of the country, and they came out here with no food.

I think it’s quite possible the people who came to hear Jesus speak may not have realized that’s where they were headed that day. Maybe they were headed further down the road to work or coming back from visiting someone. They saw this crowd and thought, “Hmm, wonder what’s going on over there.” So, they pulled the camel over and went to see what was up.

They didn’t intend to stay so long. They had fully intended to only stay a minute to see what was happening. But Jesus was a dynamic speaker. I’m quite sure He was a dynamic spirit—one of those people that you’re just drawn to and you can’t really explain why. So, He’s teaching, and they’re listening, and the crowd is growing. Then all of a sudden one of the disciples realizes, “Hey, man, we haven’t eaten in like hours!”

So, he goes up to Jesus and says, “Tell these people to go home. We need to go get something to eat.” To which, Jesus turns to him and says, “Feed them yourself.”

Okay, I’ve been to enough “community events.” As the day winds down, if you’ve had a good day, the meat is running a bit thin, we’re out of potatoes, and I really hope we don’t get many more people coming in. These things go through a person’s mind when they are in charge. I’m quite sure they went through this disciple’s mind as well.

But Jesus said to feed the people, so what do they do? The only thing they can do… They start looking around for any food available. That’s when one of the disciples sees this boy. With very few other options, they ask him for his lunch. Probably knowing his mother will be mad but seeing little other choice, he gives them the food he has.

You know the rest of the story. Jesus takes the meager offering, blesses it, has it distributed, and it feeds the multitude. This is exactly how the blessings in our lives work if we understand what really happened here.

The boy most likely did not make that bread himself, nor did he make the fish. He was given them—by his mother, yes—but even more so by his Heavenly Father. They were his blessing. Now he could’ve kept that blessing to himself, but he didn’t. When he was asked, he gave his blessing away. He gave that blessing to Jesus. Jesus took the blessing that had been given the boy, blessed it, and it was distributed as a blessing to all those present.

Think about what Jesus is calling us to do through this story with the blessings and talents in our own lives. He has given them to us, and we can keep them to ourselves if we wish. But I think He is inviting us to see what can happen when we don’t keep them to ourselves. When we give them back to Him and let Him bless them, and then we share them with the world. It becomes not two fish and a few loaves of bread—a small, hardly-worth-mentioning offering—it becomes “enough to feed a multitude.” And there’s even 12 baskets leftover.

Yes, we can keep our talents and blessings to ourselves. We can hold them close to our hearts and horde them so that they don’t slip through our fingers. However, consider how incredible that blessing could become if we give it back to Jesus, let Him bless it, and then Him, through us, use it to improve the world around us.

It’s something to think about.

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Layers of Existence

© Staci Stallings

Movies are fascinating. They have a way of conveying messages without us realizing we are getting the message. I first gained this understanding in college. I took a cinema class because I thought it would be fun and easy. But God had other plans.

There were 800 students in cinema class. Apparently a lot of people had the same idea I did. The only one in the room who didn't know this was supposed to be easy was the teacher. She had this strange idea that we were actually there to learn about movies. Go figure!

Where we started, I no longer remember, but through the course of the semester we learned every technique directors use to pull us into their work. We went through the meanings of various camera angles, how props are used, how sets are designed, how costumes are chosen, colors, music, layout, dialogue, blocking, movement, and on and on and on.

We were given the chance (read: assigned) to deconstruct various techniques in movies we watched. For example, say you chose to analyze the music, you then took notes on how music was used throughout the movie to evoke the emotion you had decided the director was trying to bring out. Then you wrote what you thought about that in a 500-word paper.

It was fun. Slowly but surely the lessons came together so that I could see how a movie director constructs a world in which what you see and hear transfers into making you feel a certain way and understand the characters on a deeper level than maybe even you realize. Does he want you to feel fear? Low, menacing music will pull fear right out of you. Does she want you to sense that a character is out of control? Cluttering the character's living space with a myriad of props will (even if you're not aware of it) add to that perception.

Many years after the cinema class, I began to use these lessons in constructing my books. I intuitively understood that you didn't have to tell the audience a character was a control freak if his suit was impeccable, his desk perfect, his apartment sparse but in fastidious order, his commands to others followed to the letter or else. All of these add up to a character bent on controlling his existence-even if I never said that outright.

I could do that without even really trying. It wasn't until a writing friend pinned me down to explain it to her that I came to the realization of the layers of existence.

Simply put: What happens in the physical realm gives us cues to what is happening on the emotional and mental levels, which then have an underlying lesson in the spiritual realm. Now, stay with me here. This isn't hard, and it will make a tremendous difference in how you live your life once you get it.

For a long time I saw this pattern in books, but it wasn't until recently that I discovered it transfers to life as well. When things happened in real life, I began to ask, "Why?" just as I did when writing my books. Not in a negative sense as in "Why does this always happen to me?" but in a curiosity sense, "Why? What does this mean? Where are we going with this?"

That opened up a whole new understanding of life for me. I began to see how what happens in the physical realm necessarily opens a window to understand the emotional, mental, and spiritual realms.

An example that happened recently was a friend of mine who was talking about a control freak in her life. She lamented that he always has to be right, he wants everything perfect or it's horrible, and he makes her the "small one" so he can be the savior. Listening I said, "You know why, right?" She paused. "No. Why?"

"Because he feels out of control and less than, so he's holding the things he can control in a tight fist. That helps him feel like he's in control so he doesn't have to feel out of control." After only a moment's thought, she said, "You know what? You're right. I never thought of it like that."

You see, what was happening in the physical realm-his controlling behavior-held cues to his emotional and spiritual state of being wanting at all costs to feel in control of everything.
It happens with lessons as well. As things in real life happen, I often step back and ask, "Okay, what's the lesson in this?" Invariably as the layers peel away, the lesson becomes clear. In fact, a friend of mine who has recently begun doing this commented the other night:

"I used to think things just happened, and that was that. Now, I stop and think, 'Okay. Wait. There's a lesson here. What is it?' It takes me awhile sometimes, but when I really stop long enough to look, the lessons become clear."
I'm glad I took that cinema class because it taught me more about life than I ever would've guessed.

(For Reprints of articles on Homeward Bound, visit: http://www.stacistallings.com/articlepermission.htm )

Decide

© Staci Stallings

The genesis for my understanding of this word goes back to when I was teaching high school English. The school where I taught had a unique way to teach vocabulary. It was based entirely on learning the meanings of Greek and Latin root words. Now I have no idea how much that helped the kids, but it sure helped me.

When you deconstruct the word "Decide", you come up with two parts: de- and -cide. De means "away from" in Latin - as in destroy, devalue, detour, or diverge. Cid or cis means "to cut", as in incision.

Putting the two together, you get "to cut away from".

Now I had known this for a long time and always thought it fascinating. But it wasn't until I was talking with a friend of mine about a friend of hers that I realized how much understanding this could help others.

My friend was telling me how her friend just didn't get it. He refused to put things in God's Hands because he "didn't know how." I told her that what he (or anyone) has to do is to decide to do it - to put life in God's Hands. Then I said, "You know what decide means, right?'

That stopped her. No she didn't.

I deconstructed decide for her and then said, "To decide means to cut off all other possibilities." For example, let's say you decide to have hamburgers for supper. As soon as you decide, you literally cut yourself away from all other possibilities - brisket, sandwiches, steak, seafood. The others are now no longer options because you have decided to have hamburgers.

It works the same way in the spiritual realm although it's much less easy to see and therefore easier to let the important decisions slide.

Going to church, for instance. Have you ever really decided that church is beneficial for you - or do you just go because you're supposed to? How about having faith that the best outcome in God's eyes will happen? That's not an accident. It's a decision - where you literally cut yourself off from all other possibilities.

Deciding can be one of the most life-changing things you ever consciously do. It is like pruning a grapevine. If you let the vine go, it will be one big jumbled mess and produce very little fruit. But if you prune it, cutting away that which is simply in the way rather than productive, the good branches will have the chance to produce richly.

So today when you make a decision about what to wear or how to spend you time, do it wisely and do it well for all the possibilities are available to you until the moment you decide. And once you decide, all the non-productive branches fall away - if you have decided wisely!

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Lucky is here! Staci's latest novel which Chandra Lynn Smith calls Lucky "a love story woven like a fine tapestry tells the story of Kalin Lane, a singer/guitarist on the cusp of stardom if he can just outrun the demons of his past. Read the first three chapters of Lucky free by going to: http://www.stacistallings.com/LuckyPreview.htm

A Reason to Pray

© Staci Stallings

Recently I was reading Nancy Stafford's "Beauty by the Book." She pointed out something I hadn't thought of. Words associated with Christ often start with the prefix re- as in renew, refresh, restore, resurrection. Words associated with Satan, however, often start with either de- or dis- Destroy, discourage, disappoint, despair, depression. Re- means to bring back to the original state. Even though as a root word de means "of" as in desire-of the Father; as a prefix de- or dis- means away from, down, or separation or negation, which pretty much describes Satan.

Of course you know this to be true in your own experience. When you're with Christ, you feel a sense of rebirth and rejuvenation of your soul. When you're hanging with the devil, there's a lot of disease, disappointment, disillusionment, distrust, despair. You know the signs when the devil is working on you. Now you can let that disempower you-as he is trying to do. In fact, Ms. Stafford sums up Satan's agenda in one very powerful sentence. "His sole purpose is to isolate and destroy us, either emotionally or physically." That's about as succinct a goal statement for Satan as I've ever read. Isolate and destroy. And I'm quite sure you know how that feels.

So, like I said, you can use the knowledge that Satan is working to destroy you as a reason to give up, quit,
surrender, and let him take you down. Or, you can recognize what's going on and use it as a reminder to fight back.

Now you and I both know that Satan is a wily little booger who will use our greatest weaknesses to crack us in two-or several hundred pieces. We also know that on our own fighting him, we are sunk. That's why at some point in the past we accepted Christ's work on the cross on our behalf so that Satan no longer can lay claim to our lives.
Great and good.

But what about when it feels like Satan is winning in the here and now? What about when he uses those bills we haven't paid to tell us that we are worthless dust, unworthy of God's love much less His help?

What about when Satan throws our past sins up in our face? "Yeah, you think you are so holy, but what about when you...?" From personal experience, he's good at this. He knows what we most fear. He knows what angers we harbor deep inside. He knows what we haven't forgiven, and he uses these things to eat away at us, pecking at us like chickens do a disabled chicken until it dies.

Finally, after many years of searching, I have found a weapon that combats Satan right where he's working. It's effective. It's easy. And best of all, it gets quick results.

It's remembering this phrase, "This is a reason to pray."

God drives Satan insane. In fact, Satan cannot be where God is. Better, Satan doesn't want to be where God is.

A friend of mine was having financial trouble. She had creditors calling who did not have a claim on the payment they were requesting, but that didn't stop them from calling-every day. At home, at work, on her cell phone. Despite getting solid legal advice that she did not owe this money, they kept calling. The situation was sending her into panic attacks and had anxiety wrapped over her like a wet blanket.

When she finally told me what was going on, as we talked, the Holy Spirit whispered the answer to me. "Tell her to use this as a reason to pray." Not in general terms, like at night saying, "Please, God. Take this away." But directly.

As crazy as this is going to sound, I have now seen the following work miracles not just in this situation but in others. When the thoughts come (or the creditor call comes in, or the angry co-worker shows up, or the ex-husband calls), in your spirit say, "Oh, thanks Satan. You're right. I need to pray about this. Bless you for reminding me... Thank You, God, for being in my life and for showing me Your best way to handle this. Be with me Holy Spirit. I give this situation to You. You are the most awesome friend I have! Thanks."

Let me tell you. Satan does NOT want to be the reason you remember God. Remember the dis- words mean separation, away from, negation. He wants to separate you from God, to negate the good God is doing in the world. It drives Satan crazy to be the reminder that God is present and all you have to do is put the situation in God's hands to handle. And it's become very clear to me that Satan will pull up stakes and RUN from a situation where you do this.

You can even get more specific in the salutation you use for the minions Satan has sent to torment you. "Oh, fear, thanks. You're right. I need to pray about this. Bless you for reminding me."

Oh! I can hear the demons cartwheeling away from the situation even as I write. They have no power where God is, and an aside, they hate to be blessed! It's quite fun actually because you are learning to spread love even to your enemies. You will feel better and more at peace before you ever even get to the point of beginning to handle whatever is going on.

"Oh, thanks, Satan. You're right I need to pray about this. Bless you for reminding me."

Use Satan as your reason to pray, and in no time, he won't be lurking around your doorstep. Try it. You'll see what I mean.


(For Reprints of Articles on Homeward Bound, visit: http://www.stacistallings.com/articlepermission.htm )

To Be Loved Or To Love

© Staci Stallings

To Be Loved Or To Love

Recently I had to put into actual words something I've been living for the last couple of years. The occasion was a new Holy Spirit friend who felt bad because she hadn't paid for the meals we had shared together with another friend of mine. I laughed and told my new friend, "Hey, paying is relative with us. We don't keep track of who has paid how many times or who owes whom for what. We give, and the rest takes care of itself."

Shortly after this conversation I had cause to examine another common life situation-a friend who wants to be married but hasn't yet found Mr. Wonderful. I knew from talking with her that she had prayed for him to come into her life for years. As I thought about several inputs I'd been receiving from the Holy Spirit, however, it occurred to me to ask if she had ever thought to pray for him-as in for his well being, for his peace, for his joy. Praying for his benefit rather than for him to show up is very different.

As I thought about this, I started to ask, "Why? Why does that feel like such a monumental shift?" And the answer came: "It's the difference between wanting to be loved and wanting to love."

Wanting to be loved is about you. It's about how another can make you feel better, how they can help you, and about you wanting something you believe you do not have. It is literally taking. In a very real way wanting to be loved and striving to get someone to love you sap so much energy that no amount of love can ever fill void for very long.

Wanting to love on the other hand is expansive. You can give out as much love as is in your heart, and when you look back in it, there is more love to give. Loving creates more love. In fact, the only way to get more love is to love.

Some time ago I had a problem in that I needed someone to babysit my children while I went out on short notice. My regular babysitter couldn't do it. When I mentioned the problem to a friend, she immediately said, "I'll be right over." Another friend commented on how people are willing to drop whatever they are doing to come and help me, and why is that? I said, "Maybe because I've dropped everything to help them enough times."

But as I looked at this answer with the "be loved or to love" question in mind, I began to see a deeper dimension to this answer. You see, I don't drop everything to help someone else with the goal being that at some point I want to be paid back. In fact, I've often said if you expect so much as a thank you in return for a good deed, it's not a gift-it's a bribe. So I don't expect anything in return. I just love.

The remarkable thing is how often this love comes back to me at the times I most need it. For example, I recently came down with pneumonia. I felt terrible, but luckily, I was not put in the hospital. Instead, I was sent home to be with my three young kids. I made it through the day, but by evening I was exhausted.

My husband had a late meeting that night, so I was to be home with my kids all evening by myself. At about four, one of my friends called to see how I was doing. I explained what was going on, and she said, "I can't stay all evening, but I can come right now for awhile." She came and helped my daughter get through her homework assignments. Just after she left, a second friend called. She said, "All I need is a yes or no answer. I'm coming over. Do you need me to bring anything?"

Sure enough, I spent only 20 minutes that night by myself with the kids. Other than that, I got to rest. It's true I've spent many hours with each of these friends helping them with things, but the truth is I did that because I loved them, not because I wanted them to love me.

Funny thing though. In focusing my energy on loving them, I got loved in return. Hmmm....

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Looking for more inspiration? Read the first three chapters of Staci's new book, "Cowboy" free! Go to: http://www.stacistallings.com/CowboyPreview.htm You'll feel better for the experience!

The Breaking Point

© Staci Stallings

I cannot explain why this is exactly, but I know it to be true. God is giving me a crash course in breaking points. I don’t mean little breaking points like you broke a nail. I mean soul-crushing, gut-wrenching breaking points where you just scream out, “Why, God? Why? This is so unfair!”

There have been breaking points in my own family, in my friends, and in people I am just coming to know. Break downs, breaking hearts, broken lives… so many hurts, so much suffering that I can’t help but ask the Lord, “Why? Why would You allow this? Why? These are Your children whom You love in ways we cannot fathom, and yet You allow these things to happen. Why?”

As I have often written, many lessons in the physical realm are present, I believe, to explain things in a deeper, spiritual realm. Thus it is with a broken bone. Most people know that when a bone breaks and is reset, the healed part is stronger than the rest of the bone. The healing actually makes the bone stronger than before it was broken.

Does a broken bone hurt? As the owner of two previously broken bones, I can attest that the answer is: YES! Is it fun to have a broken bone? NO! Would I ever on my own understanding choose to have a broken bone? NO! And yet… And yet…

Life throws things at us, and if life is taking a rest, the world gets into the act. Disease, death, heartache, addiction, divorce, abuse, the suffering of loved ones, the pain of others that we can’t fix no matter how much we want to. All of these are very real. And all in one way or another point to something broken, something that needs healing, some point in us that needs to be turned over to Him because just like a broken bone, we cannot heal it. He has to.

I have heard it said that “God never gives us more than we can handle.” I’ve heard it, but I don’t believe it. I think God does, in fact, give us more than we on our own can handle. Because if we could handle it, what need would we have of going to Him? If we could handle it, why would we ever have cause to get to know Him on the deepest levels, those levels where no one else knows us, those levels where we often don’t even know ourselves? Those levels where our deepest fears reside. Those levels where our deepest sorrows lie.

As difficult as this sounds, I believe that like a good shepherd who will break the leg of a wandering sheep so that it will not get itself into more danger, God will in fact push us to the breaking point and then push once more so that we will break. Only when the bone is broken can it be healed and become stronger.

What needs broken in us the most? Our belief that we can do it. Our belief that we have to be “strong”. Our belief that these things He puts into our lives are somehow tests to see how strong we are. The reality is: He knows our breaking points—maybe better than we do. He knows the very things that will puncture our hearts so that we cry out to Him. He knows the things standing between Him and us, and He will break those things so that even in those areas we rely on Him.

Maybe our children are the one thing we cannot give over to Him. We feel responsible for them. We feel He gave them to us, and so we are to fix them to the best of our ability. And they break. They become willful. They leave the church. They go off the path. They run from His love and ours, and no matter what we try, we can’t seem to get them back on track.

It’s tough, but we have to learn to give them to God. Because what I can’t do. He can.

Maybe it’s our job or a co-worker. No matter what we try there is still angst and turmoil. Maybe it’s time to turn that over to God. It’s tough, but remember: I can’t. He can.

It sounds brutally cruel, but what I have found by walking with countless people through these breaking points is that it is only when they have hit bottom and found that all they had left was God, it was only there that they really found God.

Do I advocate having a breakdown simply so you can find God? No. But I think every little trial has the capacity to let us learn to lean on Him then, so that when the big trials come along we’re already in practice.

May the places you feel broken begin to be healed even in this very moment, and may you give over those places that feel as if they might break right now. He will heal them. More importantly, He will give you peace through the process. He knows what we most need, and what we most need is Him. That’s the lesson of every breaking point.

In-Spir-Ation

© Staci Stallings

I am a word nut. I think I have been forever. I even have a favorite and a least favorite letter of the alphabet. So basically, I’m a little weird. I love words. I love how by combining just 26 letters in a myriad of ways, I can take the pictures in my brain and convey them to yours. To me, that’s cool.

Many times I have found myself fascinated by a word that I have used forever but suddenly understand in a different light. So one day I was thinking of words and deconstructing them to see what they literally meant. I had gone through a couple when out of the blue the Holy Spirit said, “Yeah, it’s like inspiration.” I said, “What?” And He said, “It’s like inspiration. Get it? In-spir-ation. Or literally being in the spirit.”

Wow! I had been giving the Holy Spirit credit for my writing for a lot of years. Do you really think I could come up with the line “A lie doesn’t understand truth anymore than fear understands faith”? No, way. That was totally from the Holy Spirit. However, I had been using the word inspiration like it just meant “uplifting” or “motivational.”

What I had failed to see until that very moment was how being in-spir-ed literally meant one moment when you were in the Spirit – or more literally He was in you.

So the next time you feel inspired by something, give credit where credit is due and realize you have just had a visitor come into your life. Look around; it might be happening more than you think!

(Reprint Article http://www.stacistallings.com/articlepermission.htm )

The Red Ribbon

© Staci Stallings

Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. First place. The best. Even kindergarteners want that blue ribbon. In sports, I was never a blue-ribbon person. In a race I was always last. In baseball I was as likely to get hit on the head as to drop the ball. In basketball I was fine as long as there weren’t nine other players on the court with me. Where I got my horrible sports ability, I don’t know, but I got it. And I got it early.

During the spring of my kindergarten year, our class had a fieldtrip to a park in a town about 20 miles away. Making that drive now is no big deal, but when you’re six and you’ve lived in a town of 300 all your life, going to a town of a couple thousand is a very big deal. Nonetheless, looking back now, I don’t remember much of that day. I’m sure we ate our little sack lunches, played on the swings, slid down the slide—typical six-year-old stuff. Then it was time for the races.

However, these were no ordinary races. Some parent had come up with the idea to have the picnic kind of races, like pass the potato under your neck and hold an egg on a spoon while you run to the other side. I don’t remember too much about these, but there was one race that will forever be lodged in my memory—the three-legged race.

The parents decided not to use potato sacks for this particular race. Instead, they tied our feet together. One lucky little boy got me for a partner. Now what you have to know about this little boy is that he was the second most athletic boy in our class. I’m sure he knew he was in trouble the second they laced his foot to mine. As for me, I was mortified. This guy was a winner. He almost always won, and I knew that, with me, he didn’t have a chance.

However, apparently he didn’t realize that as deeply as I did at the time. He laced his arm with mine, the gun sounded, and we were off to the other side. Couples were falling and stumbling all around us, but we stayed on our feet and made it to the other side. Unbelievably when we turned around and headed back for home, we were in the lead! Only one other couple even had a chance, and they were a good several yards behind us.

Then only feet from the finish line, disaster struck. I tripped and fell. We were close enough that my partner could have easily dragged me across the finish line and won. He could have, but he didn’t. Instead, he stopped, reached down, and helped me up—just as the other couple crossed the finish line.

I still remember that moment, and I still have that little red ribbon. When we graduated 13 years later, I stood on that stage and gave the Valedictory address to that same group of students, none of whom even remembered that moment anymore. So, I told them about that little boy who had made a split-second decision that helping a friend up was more important than winning a blue ribbon. In my speech I told them that I wouldn’t tell which of the guys sitting there on that stage was the little boy although he was up there with me. I wouldn’t tell because in truth at one time or another all of them had been that little boy—helping me up when I fell, taking time out from their pursuit of their own goals to help a fellow person in need.

And I told them why I’ve kept that ribbon. You see to me, that ribbon is a reminder that you don’t have to be a winner in the eyes of the world to be a winner to those closest to you. The world may judge you a failure or a success, but those closest to you will know the truth. That’s important to remember as we travel through this life.

You may not have a red ribbon to prove it, but I sincerely hope you have at least a few friends who remember you for taking time out from your pursuit of that blue ribbon to help them. I’m thinking those will be the ones that really count—I know it’s the one that counted the most to me.

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