The Crystal Ball

(c) Staci Stallings, 2003

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to see into the future? Especially at those times in life when the road forks, and you have no idea which fork is the best choice. You could choose X, and it could work out marvelously-or it could be a total flop. Or you could not choose X and wish for the rest of your life you had.

Recently I've found just such a crystal ball. No, it doesn't literally allow us to see into the future, but it does allow for the best decision to be made at every fork in the road every single time. What is this crystal ball? Where can you get one?

Well, think for a moment. If I had this crystal ball, what would you be willing to pay for it? Would it be worth ten dollars? A hundred? A thousand? Remember, it will unerringly tell you exactly what is the best thing to do every single time. Surely that would be worth a few dollars in a trade.

Now, what would you say if I told you that this crystal ball is monetarily free. That's right. It costs nothing at all... However, it does require something, and that something is giving up the control you think you have over a situation. It means giving up the notion that you know what the best outcome in a situation is. Here is reality: You don't. You can't. You don't have all of the information to know what is the best outcome in a situation.

But if you don't, then who does? One name: God.

Of course, God who is everywhere in all times and all moments knows. Why? Because unlike you, he can see the whole picture. He can see every ramification of every possible decision in any given situation that you can make. In short, He can see with perfect clarity the choice you should make.

While listening to Bruce Wilkenson's excellent audio, "A Life God Rewards," I heard one line that he really doesn't go on to discuss and expand on. It's more of a transition line pulling together two other thoughts. However, in that line, I realized a lesson that I had used but hadn't put words to. He said:

"As the only person to come from eternity to earth and then return to eternity, Jesus knows the whole truth-past, present, and future-and can give you a one of a kind perspective," Wilkenson says. "For example, he can see your present from a moment far out in your infinite future and tell you exactly how to prepare for what is to come."

Wow! What an unbelievably crystal ball that is! Think about it. If Jesus loves you beyond measure and He wants only what is best for you in the long run (and that means the really long run of eternity), doesn't it make sense to allow Him to guide your life?

Unfortunately that's not how most of us pray. We say things like, "God, if you'll only let me get this job, then I'll be happy." "God, I just need a way to get to work. I'll be perfectly happy with that 20-year-old Honda. Please, if I can just have that..." And God says, "Well, okay, I really wanted to give you this brand new Lexus, but I want to make you happy, so here's your Honda."

What I'm suggesting here is a radical change in thinking. Instead of being outcome-specific in our prayers, wouldn't it be better to take our hands off the wheel and let Jesus decide what's best for us?

True story, my first book had been in the hands of one company for more than a year. They had been promising during the course of that year that it would be out "next month." However, the "next months" had strung together to make a year, and I was getting frustrated. Throughout the course of the year, I had gotten these little pushes that I was to put out a second book with a different company, but I resisted. I didn't want two books out at the same time. I didn't want anyone in the first company mad because I went with a second company. In short, I was paralyzed by a decision that could radically change my future, and I wasn't at all sure which choice to make.

So, I made a deal with God. I basically told Him that I didn't know what He wanted me to do, and I didn't want to make a mistake. So if He didn't want me to put out the second book, He needed to get someone from company one to contact me in the next two weeks. Then I put that decision aside and went to work on other things. When the deadline came, I still hadn't heard anything, so I said, "Okay, 24 more hours, and then I send it in."

Still nothing. So I sent the second book. Two days later company one emailed to give me a publicist. When she later questioned the second book, I said, "God made the decision not me." You know, I have never regretted that decision-even though it was highly unconventional.

I'm not saying you should go around giving God ultimatums. I now realize a simpler method is just to put every day in His hands. Give Him the reins of deciding what's most important for your time. Then when things work out, you know it was His will. When things don't work out like you expected, it was His will, and He has a better idea.

Then all you have to do is do your best, work as hard as you can, and let Him make the decisions. Pray only for guidance and for peace no matter what happens, and I think you will be amazed at the number of incredible answers that will start popping up in your life.

~*~*~
My wish is that YOU will have a Happy Joyous New Year... filled with growth, peace, happiness, joy, and love!

Patience

(c) Staci Stallings, 2005

Ever since my girls were very little, I've tried to teach them patience. I well remember getting them to count to ten when we had to wait for something. I would tell them, "Count real slow." If they counted "too fast" because I knew they would be finished before whatever we were waiting for was, I would say, "No, that's too fast. You have to start over."

It was a game, and it worked. It gave them something to think about other than what they so desperately wanted. By the time they got to ten, it was ready.

This Christmas I found out that those early lessons with my girls are paying off. My girls, now 9 and 5, were at Grandma's house Christmas morning. They awoke, as most children do on Christmas morning, very early.

When Grandma got up at 8:30 after a late night of playing games and visiting, she found the two of them in the living room looking at the wrapped presents and whispering. Not a box had been touched.

Grandpa got up at nine, and they ate some breakfast. Daddy got up about ten. By that time, the girls had sorted the boxes into Stefani's stack, Kayla's stack, Andrew's stack, etc. and still they were sitting patiently - examining, shaking, holding, discussing, but never opening.

Daddy, being the teasing guy that he is, tried to talk them into opening "just one." But they flatly refused until Mommy and Andrew could be there.

At 10:45, their baby brother woke up, and after a short discussion they decided they'd better wake Mom up because there was no telling how long she might sleep if they didn't.

The first I knew of any of this was when the four of them appeared at my bedside saying, "Mom, wake up. We just can't wait anymore."

I don't know how long my mother will be alive, but I can guarantee she will forever marvel about those few hours on a bright Christmas morn when her two young granddaughters showed her the meaning of real patience.

~*~*~
Merry Christmas and a Happy, Joyous, Peaceful New Year to all! Staci

Life and Death

(c) Staci Stallings, 2005

Life is God. Death is "not God." When you truly have life, what you have done is to allow God to permeate you so fully that "you" have begun to disappear, and He has begun to live through you. Death is the opposite of this. Death reigns when you are relying on your own power, your own resources, your own strength, and your own knowledge and understanding in any given situation.

In the Garden of Eden, there were two trees-the Tree of Life, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Tree of Life was quite simply allowing God to live life in and through His creations. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was the belief that we don't need God, that we could live and do it on our own. The moment Adam and Eve ate of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, death came into the world because they chose to rely on themselves rather than on God.

Instantly, they were banished from the garden, the sanctuary that God had made for them, and they were sent out into the world to learn to fend for themselves literally because that's what they had chosen. However, this truth did not begin and end with this one act. It is going on every day in every life capable of making choices on this planet.

That means you.

Yes, you have the choice between letting God live through you or trying to do it on your own. Which are you choosing? I have come to wonder why God sent Jesus into the world with this concept in mind. I believe the answer to that is very simple. He sent Christ who is a part of Himself into the world to restore our choice to rely on God rather than on ourselves. Once again, through Jesus Christ, we have the choice to choose the Tree of Life rather than having as our only option the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil manifested in the laws laid out as a measure of whether we are good enough to be allowed back into God's grace.

On our own, of course we are not good enough. We can't be, for on our own, we are death-literally. On our own, we have no life within us because if we are doing it on our own, that necessarily means that God is not in us. If God is not in us, Life is not in us and we are dead. For God is Life; death is the absence of Life or stated another way, death is the absence of God.

Living on our own we are told that we must rely on competition for limited resources. We must beat others out for the best education and the means to provide for ourselves because if we don't beat them, they will take some and there will be less for us. When we are living on our own, we do not believe that God is All and Everything and that He will provide. No. Instead we believe that if we don't do it, it won't get done. We believe in the empty promises of worldly success and achievement. We seek to impress one another with our wealth, our knowledge, and our worldly attributes-however altruistic they may seem on the outside.

None of this is real. It is death personified, and yet over and over again, we choose this avenue of "being." Even in the Christian life, our service often comes not from God living through us, but from us trying to prove ourselves worthy of Him. It is a fallacy, a lie of the highest proportions. God does not seek our effort. He seeks only to express Himself and His love through us.

It is like Mark Hall from Casting Crowns said when he recounted the story of God making his life's purpose perfectly clear: "Mark, I'm going to do something wonderful in the world. I just want to know if you want to come along."

God seeks to live through us, and when we allow Him to do that, that is Life. That is the Life that Christ came to remind us was available and to restore an option once again.

Through His cross, Christ took onto Himself the shame of the children of God who had tried so valiantly to live up to what God wanted them to be and had failed so miserably, and He allowed that fallacy to be nailed to a cross and forever banished. When He arose, Life arose with Him. When He sent His Spirit, He sent it to once again live in us and through us, making the Tree of Life a possible choice once again.

And still, we choose death over Him. Why?

Good question.

Now you know the truth, is death still your choice?

~*~*~
More inspiration can be found at: http://www.stacistallings.com You'll feel better for the experience!

Called

(c) Staci Stallings, 2005

Twice in the last week I got called. The first was by a lady whose children are the same age as mine. This lady is someone I've admired for many years. The purpose of her call was to see if I would run for the school board of my daughters' school.

She told me the qualifications, described the job, and told me why they thought I would be good for the position. It was a very thorough offer. I listened to her, and then I listened to my heart. Make no mistake, it was flattering to be wanted. It felt good that someone would think of me for such a position. However, as I took serious stock of where I am right now and what the Holy Spirit has laid on my heart, I knew the only answer I could give her was, "No."

Two days later I got a second call. This one came from a long-time friend of mine. Although she and I had previously discussed the reason for her call, and although I had already declined at least twice, she was calling again. The offer? To join one of the women's organizations at our church.

When I said, "No, but thanks," she couldn't understand why. After all, it's only one night a month, the circle is women my own age, it's a reason to get out of the house, you can serve your community, they are really nice, and it's fun. (If I missed any of the reasons she gave me, I apologize.) Even after all of her reasons, I still said, "No." And to be honest, I still don't think she understands.

Now, please hear me loud and clear-there is nothing wrong with either of these organizations. In fact, they do a lot of great work for the community and for the church. The school board is certainly a worthwhile way to give of yourself, and women's organizations do a lot of good work in our world.

However, when I looked in my heart at this time in my life-with young children, a husband who often works out of town, and the writing ministry that God has shown me time and again He wants me to do-I simply do not feel called to the other organizations. Could I do them? Yes. Could I do them well? Yes. But in my heart I know they would be taking time away from what He really has called me to do.

There may well come a time when I do feel called to these again. After all, it wouldn't be the first time I helped out. In high school, I was an usher at church, I played guitar and sang in three choirs, I was the vice president of the youth organization, and I read in church. In short, I was involved.

On the other hand, right now, I have three children whom I shall never get this time to spend with them back. To be sure, I already miss too much time with them the way it is. It's a balance I don't always hold so well. But when I looked at these offers, and put them on the scales with their importance versus what I feel as God's call for this time in my life-namely raising my children and my writing, the children and writing won out.

Right now, I am called to be here for them, to be able to drop everything if need be if they need me. If I am tied to meetings and service projects, that would not be possible.

Is everyone called to that? No, probably not. It takes getting still long enough to listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit in your heart to decide. When you take the time to do that, the real call will be clear-whether the phone actually rings or not.

~*~*~
Have a blessed Advent Season!

What Everyone Else Says

(c) Staci Stallings, 2004

Talk about confused, my friend was. She kept saying, "I just cry and say, 'Lord, please tell me what's the truth.'" Understanding her plight wasn't difficult. She was learning something new and needing for it to be right the first time. So she did what any sane person would do, she asked for help. Only the "help" sounded like this:

"You have to have a lot of details."

"You use too many details."

"I like this section."

(Same section) "This section needs a lot of work."

"I like this character."

(Same character) "I hate this character."

"You need a hook."

"Hooks are for the book, not the cover letter."

"You have to do this." "Don't ever do this."

In short, she was drowning in the sea of conflicting advice.

As we talked, she began to see the conflicting advice for what it was - other people's opinions. As my mom always said, "Give me your opinion. I want to hear it, but I don't have to take it."

My friend was heeding the opinions and trying to use all of them, and it was paralyzing her. It's a trap many of us fall into. Everyone has an opinion about how we should be living our lives. We should do this. We have to do this. We can't do that. And many times we get completely conflicting advice. We, too, can be drowning and wondering if there even is a "truth."

After about 15 minutes of hearing about how she didn't understand because all of these advice-givers were multi-published authors, and they should know the truth, in frustration I finally said, "Yes, but they are not God." That stopped her cold.

The truth is that there is no problem with asking for advice, but then you must make the decision for yourself. Some will agree with you. Some will not. But trying to please everybody will soon convince you that nothing you do is right. It will paralyze you, and that's exactly what Satan would love to do.

I suggested that she get quiet, breathe, and listen to what her heart was telling her to do. In all likelihood it won't look much like what the world says is "the only thing that will work" because God doesn't work the way the world does. In fact, His direction may sound absolutely crazy (Christ on the cross comes to mind). However, if you don't have Him guiding you, finding "the truth" is all-but impossible.

Five minutes after I got off the phone from our conversation, I got in my van to get my kids from school. Sean Hannity happened to be on the radio talking to a soldier who had been ridiculed by an anti-war protester.

Hannity said, (I paraphrase), "You can't live your life based on what everyone else thinks - especially if you are to take a real stand. If you make everyone else happy, you will be paralyzed because whatever you do will always be wrong. You have to figure out where you are and be there." After at least a three-minute speech, he took a breath and said, "Whew, I don't know where that came from. Why did I go into that?"

I laughed. It was a message to me verifying what I had just said sent from the Holy Spirit through Sean Hannity over the airwaves even though Sean had no idea that's why he said it. It's pretty cool how the Holy Spirit can get that stuff to work out.

As I told my friend, other people's advice is okay, but you should really be listening to God rather than listening to what everyone else says. If you do that, you will make good decisions for you, avoid mistakes, and quite possibly end up in a place far more wonderful than you had ever imagined existed. That's the way God works.

*~*~*
Looking for great Christmas presents? Check out Staci's books at: http://www.lulu.com/spirit-light You and the receiver will feel better for the experience!

You Already Have

(c) Staci Stallings, 2005

About a year ago my goals changed radically. The first goal that changed was the one that said my ultimate goal was to get to Heaven and have God say, "Well done good and faithful servant." What I realized was, that goal was about me-what I would get, about what I thought I had earned, and about having Him be proud of me. When the understanding that it wasn't about me but about Him came through my life, I altered that goal to be this: What I want when I get to Heaven is for God to put His arms around me and say, "I love you." That's it. That's all I want. And you know what? He says that every day, so I know that goal is already met.

The second goal I had was about reaching people for God. I wanted to touch as many people as I could for Him. It sounded good, but again, that was about me-not about Him. It was about what I could do for Him. What a joke. The God who put the stars in the sky, formed everything from nothing, and designed it all to perfection, and I was going to do something for Him. Right. What I now understand is that He doesn't need me to do anything for Him, what He wants most is to live through me-just as He lived through Jesus.

Based on that understanding, in the last month or so I have altered that goal as well. My "while I'm here" goal is now: I want anyone who looks at me to see Him-in my writing, in person, on the phone, however we happen to meet. The credit for everything that my life produces is His, not mine. For if He is living through me, it is Him that is doing whatever efforts happen to come through me, so He deserves the credit.

The cool thing about this is that this morning I was listening to a song I'd heard many times and really liked. The song is by Keith Urban. It is one he never released. It's on his "Golden Road" album. It's about his dad and how as he gets older, he sees more things in his life he realizes are things his dad did. Then toward the end of the song, there was a part that just blew me away. It says:

"Everything he ever did, he did with love,
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son.
When somebody says, 'I hope I get to meet your dad,'
I just smile and say, 'You already have.'"

That's my goal to be able to say that by meeting me they've already met my Father for He is living through me. That goal feels like a perfect fit in the way the others never did. The others put me in chains about what I had to do. These goals free me to simply live and watch what He does through me. It's an awesome way to live!

*~*~*
Looking for a great Christmas gift? Check out Staci's books at: http://www.lulu.com/spirit-light They will make the one you love feel better for the experience!

Let Go

(c) Staci Stallings, 2003

Although there are a lot of careers in this life that could teach someone to let go, I think that writing has to be near the top of that list. Maybe that's because I write, or maybe that's because it really is. Whatever the case, this understanding was made clear recently when a writer friend of mine asked the question, "How could I not see the holes in my manuscript that my critique partners caught and pointed out? They were so glaring."

As a writer, I completely understand the frustration in this statement. If you are a high school writer only, you may not. While teaching I saw plenty of high school writers. They wait until the last conceivable moment to start, write down everything they can think of on the topic at hand in no particular order, then race to the teacher's desk to fling the paper at her, hoping it's good enough for passing. These people are not the writers of which I speak.

I'm speaking about the writers who think all the way through every word they put down, who cross out, delete, rewrite, re-think, edit, re-edit, and hone every inch of a manuscript before they let anyone else so much as hear the idea presented in it. These are the writers who research until their eyes bleed, think until their brain hurts, and generally torture themselves over every single word because it doesn't just need to be "good," it needs to be "perfect."

Then after they can see no other place in the entire work of oh, say 80,000 words, they heave a sigh of relief and acquiescence and place it into the hands of someone else to read. In high school, these are the kids who have been finished with the first draft of their 250-word essay 40 minutes before the bell rings, but who are still crossing things out and rewriting them even as they slide toward the teacher who's saying, "That's it. Turn in your papers."

It's painful for them to turn their work over to someone else. It's like a mother leaving her first baby with a sitter for the very first time. They hope and pray the reader will be gentle. They hope that when the paper is returned, there are very few red marks if any at all. And above all, they hope they haven't made any grievous errors that will make the reader think they are a complete imbecile who should never have been given a pen and paper in the first place.

This is the kind of writer my friend was and then came the shocker. She had missed something, and not just something but a huge gaping hole in the story and how she told it. When that happens to a writer of this ilk, devastation sets in like a hurricane across a soul. Even the mildest criticism is like a knife to the gut. Immediately after the devastation blows through the rains of doubt begin to pour. "Maybe I'm not supposed to be a writer. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to do this."

To some extent there might not be a way around this feeling totally; however, I don't think it is completely inevitable. You see, I have found a way (not foolproof but pretty close) to weather this storm and let the manuscript grow as God intended it to. It's called, "Let Go."

That's the short version of having a "Leave Everything To God Opportunity." These types of opportunities are all around us. They are in the panic of a mother when her child is sick. They are in the stress of a business owner who just placed a major bid and then realizes or suspects he missed something. They are in the quiet reaches of our own souls every time we feel that maybe we haven't quite done enough in a given situation.

Here is what I told my author friend, and here is my advice to you. When you have a "Leave Everything To God Opportunity," realize that if you could do it alone, God wouldn't have made everyone else. Each of us has our own, unique experience that we bring to a situation. In short, each of us has a piece of the puzzle to fill in. As writers, we must realize that just because we couldn't see the piece that someone else lays before us that doesn't mean we don't have skill, talent or desire, it just means that they have a different perspective, a different piece to fit into the mosaic of the work.

Instead of abhorring the pieces that someone else fills in, bless them. They just made your puzzle make more sense than it ever could have without that piece. Then thank God for bringing that piece into your life. When you begin to do that, you can then begin to slowly let go earlier and earlier in the process, and the puzzle can come together while you are building it rather than you having to knock it all apart and rebuild it later.

It's not easy for any of us to do, but when you think in terms of "Leave Everything To God Opportunities," the storms of life begin to look less frightening and more manageable than ever before. So try it today. Let Go, and see if He doesn't hand you a piece that on your own you couldn't have known or found but one that makes the whole puzzle fit in a way that it never could have without it. Then celebrate because you have now found the key to how God intended all of us to live, and that key will unlock doors you never imagined could open to you.

Let Go. Let God, and enjoy every "Leave Everything To God Opportunity" that comes your
way.

*~*~*
Looking for Christmas presents for that hard to buy for person on your list? Visit: http://www.lulu.com/spirit-light Inspiration for all! Have a blessed Advent season!

34 Lives

(c) Staci Stallings

Don't freak out. It's not what you think, but I have to this point on earth lived 34 lives. Let me explain. In general, there are two ways to write a novel. The first way is to plot everything, to research, outline and plan every plot twist and event from page one to the final page before you ever write the first word. The other way is sometimes called Seat of the Pants-meaning you don't know much about the story, you just start writing and let the book come to life as you write.

I use a lot of both ways, but I tend to think of it as doing what the Holy Spirit wants when He wants it done. Most of the time I start knowing at least a scene or two of what happens. Sometimes all I know is who the characters are, sometimes I know bits and pieces of the story. No matter how they start, each and every story has stretched me and forced me to grow. I see these as Holy Spirit lessons in many ways.

The first way is I've learned I have to let go of "how I did it last time." However I did it last time is never how I will do it this time-that much I have learned. This time will always be different. This time will always have it's own lessons to teach me.

The second way these stories have taught me is to give me the chance to live many lives-not just this experience I myself call life. In some ways my characters are pieces of me. In some ways I'm pieces of them. When I write, for that time I "become" them. I often take on various characteristics of them as I'm writing their story. I've dressed new-age for a time because that's how one character often dressed. I've worn leather wristbands because that's what a character wore. When I'm in character mode, I listen to the world in a different way. I listen the way they would.

I listen for the lessons they need to learn in the way they need to learn it, and in the process, I learn. It's a cool way to learn because as heart wrenching as a circumstance in a book is, I have the option of turning off the computer and processing for awhile. In real life, you can't do that.

Through my characters I have experienced poverty and riches far beyond what I will ever have. I have worried about where my next meal will come from and about how to save a youth center from being closed. I have jumped off the edge of sanity into alcohol and relived a drug addiction. I have seen the loneliness of getting the dream you thought you wanted but missing the things that are truly important along the way. And with every experience, I have learned in a way I couldn't have from my own experience.

To date I have completed 17 novels. Since I write from the point of view of the hero and that of the heroine in each book, I have now lived 34 lives. This unique life experience-both my life and getting to marinate in others' souls for a time-has taught me many things about this life that I couldn't have learned had I only lived my own life experience.

I firmly believe that being able to walk in each of my characters' shoes for a time has given me knowledge that I would not have otherwise been privy to gaining in any other way. It has opened my eyes to how a single situation can be interpreted in radically different ways depending on the particular perspective of any individual involved. Because of this, I now understand that no matter how firmly you believe your experience is definitive, the other person is probably as adamant that their interpretation is the only valid one as well.

This knowledge has saved me on more than one occasion from assuming that because my interpretation of events was X that everyone else's was too. I am more willing to listen to other perspectives. I am more willing to dig for what's really going on rather than assuming I know and going on faulty personal interpretation.

It's a lesson I greatly value, and one I will forever be glad that God allowed me to have. How else could you live 34 lives and not be counted insane? Unless of course you were to read other's experiences... hmm.... There's an idea.

*~*~*~*
Check out Staci's characters at: http://www.stacistallings.com/bookshelf.htm You'll feel better for the experience!